Monday, February 7, 2011

"To Nobody, then will I write"

I have done it again. I have gotten preoccupied with who is reading rather than what is being written. I'm sorry that I keep having to remind myself that my blog is my own; it is my outlet for my benefit. It is available to those who choose to stop by, but the one that should be gaining the most is myself. And when I use it properly, that is exactly what happens.

Here is a revisit of an older post. Not because you need to hear it; because I do.

I was introduced to a new friend today. Miranda did the honors. She knew I would make a connection with this dear lady, one who steps off the page and instantly becomes more than an acquaintance. Although her formal name is Frances Burney, a British author at the turn of the 19th century, I think I will prefer to enjoy the more familiarity of her nickname, Fanny. Fanny was a gal ahead of her time.

Fanny's first journal entry in 1768 presented a common dilemma. She knew that memory would fail her eventually so she wanted to have a place to share her "thoughts, manners, acquaintance & actions," where she could "confess (her) every (her) whole heart!"

She continues: "But a thing of this kind ought to be addressed to somebody--I must imagine myself to be talking--talking to the most intimate of friends--to one in whom I should take delight in confiding, & remorse in concealment: but who must this friend be?"

That is a dilemma that bloggers wrestle with, at least I do. With whom am I sharing my thoughts? to whom are they directed? to whom am I uncovering and baring my soul? with whom am I occasionally being silly? Although after much inner debate and finally choosing to be blissfully unaware of who is reading my blog, I think I can take a page from Fanny's book. She delighted in figuring out to whom she could direct her writing:

"To whom must I dedicate my wonderful, surprising & interesting adventures? to whom dare I reveal my private opinion of my nearest relations? the secret thoughts of my dearest friends? my own hopes, fears, reflections & dislikes?--Nobody!

"To Nobody, then will I write my journal! since to Nobody can I be wholly unreserved--to Nobody can I reveal every thought, every wish of my heart, with the most unlimited confidence, the most unremitting sincerity to the end of my life!"

While Fanny's newfound freedom in writing to Nobody enabled her to write with utter honesty, her private thoughts were reported so fully and faithfully that, in the end, every reader is able to share them and relate to her Universal truths. That is a tremendous accomplishment. While I don't enjoy the freedom of my posts being read posthumously, I do hope that as I work through the reflections and musings and deliberations of my life and share them freely with "Nobody", perhaps some particle of truth will resonate with you, whomever you are, and that occasionally I might prompt you to look at something in a new way, or to set your sights on a new goal, or to express your previously inhibited feelings.

Thanks, Fanny. I think we are going to be good friends.

1 comment:

Larry said...

My greatest friend, critic, fan, detractor is found in the mirror. To that audience I direct my words...