Long Lost Valentine

It was homemade.  And yet it wasn't made of cut out hearts and paper doilies.  It was a two-fold computer printout card that didn't cost a dime.  That's because we didn't have a dime.

It is one of my most treasured possessions.  The value doesn't lie in its beauty.  The value doesn't lie in its clever design nor the time and effort required to make it.

This Valentine card, with its stains and faded ink, holds value because of the message scribbled by a man who hates to write, who questions his eloquence, who becomes paralyzed by holding a pencil.

I'll let you be the judge.

Dear Ardith,

I hope this card makes up for all of the neglect and disappointments that a mother of three preschoolers has to put up with,

certainly it should come close.

I know that it may seem that our relationship has, metaphorically speaking, dry docked off the sea of romance.

But after further reflection and thoughtful overview, I come to realize that we are not dry docked on a desert isle where love is not felt.

But we simply have arrived where all true loves belong, and that's in a family that deeply cares for each other and whose entire existence depends on each other.

You see, before we only had the romantic side of each other.

But now we have the hope, the trust, and the covenant promise of love forever.

And though at times we seem to have lost a few happy moments of romance,

I know that I have gained far much more.

Love, BJH

P.S. I amour' you, you hunk of woman you!!!!

As I sit here, mopping up the tears, I realize that love just keeps getting better and better.  We may have lost the kick in our step and the figures and the faces of youth, but what has survived the test of time is a deep abiding devotion.  We not only love one another, we take care of one another. We place the other's needs before our own; we finish the other's sentences; we step in immediately to pick up after the other's shortcomings.

I need you.  And I'm pretty sure you need me.

Could there be any truer valentines?

Got Oil?

We never really know what may lie just around the corner.  We never really know what challenges we may meet, and what they will demand from us.

What we can do is to follow the counsel given in the Lord's parable of the Ten Virgins in Matthew 25.  These women found themselves, either foolishly unprepared, or calmly ready for whatever came their way.  There is such wisdom in keeping our lamps trimmed and burning.  There is such wisdom in returning often to the sources that refuel our oil supply.

Throughout a weekend which held much of surprise, I watched my husband, who was prepared, calmly accept a new assignment to serve the Savior.  It will be demanding.  It will be challenging.  Yet I have observed, from the vantage point of a wife, the past few months as the Lord has blessed him with the tools he would need, including improved health and strength.

I am thankful for his willingness to serve.  I am thankful for his kind and loving heart.

I am thankful for the oil in his lamp.

Finding Common Ground

What is the most attractive thing about someone?  Is it the brilliant blue of their eyes?  or is it their strong, broad shoulders and rippling muscles?  or is it any number of things that society touts as hallmarks of beauty?

To me, these are merely distractions.  I believe the most compelling trait in someone is the common interest we share.  Do you care about enough similar subjects to hold effortless conversation with me?  That is when friendship becomes easy.  That is when you could talk for hours without running out of things to say.  That is when you don't want to be the first person to hang up the phone. That is what builds the pathway to love.

Years ago I met an incredibly handsome man.  And he was, indeed, a man; not a boy, not a young man; I found myself utterly attracted to the fact that he seemed very mature and assured and ready to tackle the world.  At first glance, it would seem we had nothing in common.  He grew up on a ball field, or a ball court, or a ball diamond.  Me?  Don't you throw a ball at me!  I will not be able to catch it and will invariably end up hurting myself or someone or something else. 

He was the life of the party, effortlessly making all around him feel comfortable and important.  Me?  I was shy and insecure and awkward.  I was more at ease in a library, surrounded by friends that leapt from the pages of books.

So what could we possibly have to talk about?  Well, we did like to ski.  And we did like to go to church.  And we did like to laugh.  And we did like chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.

These were the beginnings of our common ground.  It didn't take long to discover that we shared the same goals of family; the same interest in great books and ideas.  I read the great books.  He had the great ideas.

And most importantly, we shared a love of our Savior, and a desire to follow Him.  The Gospel of Jesus Christ equipped us with the tools to learn patience, tolerance, forgiveness, and unconditional love. 

That was all the common ground we needed.

Getting ONE JUMP AHEAD of Broadway!

Have you ever had the chance to see something brand new?  I mean BRAND New?  Tonight Brian and I are getting that opportunity. 

Before shows are brought to the Great White Way of Broadway, they have a stage debut at another venue to "work out the kinks" and find what needs tweaking.  With Disney's track record of The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Aida, and the recent Mary Poppins, I decided it was a good bet that their new Aladdin would be a winner too.  So when I received an email (as a Disney superfan), I only hesitated a moment before clicking the link to buy Brian the greatest anniversary gift ever.

It is showing tonight in Seattle at the 5th Avenue Theatre, and we have tickets!  I have always loved the story, the music, and the characters from the animated movie, Aladdin.  I can only imagine what they will do with costumes and staging for this one.  They seem to keep outdoing themselves.

In the midst of an already busy summer, I know that a quiet weekend at home may sound nice, but I think a quick trip to Seattle for just the two of us will also be a treat.  It is just a small way for me to thank Brian for having "shown me the world". ;-)

 

Like Coming Home

"...it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together... and I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home... only to no home I'd ever known... I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like... magic."

I still remember the first time I held hands with Brian Haws.  We had just parked the car at the Salt Lake City Airport, were crossing the street to go pick up his parents, when he reached out for my hand.  It wasn't planned.  It wasn't premeditated.  It just happened as naturally as anything in the world.  It felt right.  It felt warm.  It felt like...magic.  It felt like coming home.

Today we celebrate 28 years of coming home, of being in a marriage that stands the test of time and space, and every kind of test that life can throw at two people.

I hesitate to share openly here about the depth and breadth and height of my love for Brian Haws.  It is too dear to my heart; too sacred.  And yet I can share great quotes from others about the true nature of love.  That is far enough removed to honor it, without my becoming a blubbering mess.   Maybe.  I see and hear things all the time that remind me of my husband.  So many songs, the ones with happy endings:

"I'm gonna love you forever

Forever and ever amen,

As long as old men sit and talk about the weather

As long as old women sit and talk about old men.

If you wonder how long I'll be faithful

I'll be happy to tell you again

I'm gonna love you forever and ever

Forever and ever amen."

Is it any surprise, that my friend, Emerson, also has much to say on the subject of eternal love and the metamorphosis of the marriage relationship?

"Their once flaming regard is sobered by time...At last they discover that all which at first drew them together...had  a prospective end...and the purification of the intellect and the heart from year to year is the real marriage....That which is so beautiful and attractive as these relations, must be succeeded and supplanted only by what is more beautiful, and so on for ever."

He is right.  Time passes, and we change.  Love changes.  It may no longer be the breathless and heady elixir common to youth.  It becomes fuller, and richer, and more stable.  And certainly more gratifying.

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life.  To me, there is nothing in the world as lovely as coming home.

(Thanks to Sleepless in Seattle, Randy Travis, and Ralph Waldo Emerson, for their timeless quotes on love.)



You Have Shown Me the World

This is my blog, and I can use it however I feel like.  Today, I feel like giving an early Anniversary gift to my husband.  So I am.

I have a surprise for you, Brian, that I can hardly wait to give.  In comparison to all the wonderful things you have done for me, this considerably pales.  And yet, I think it is pretty fun and exciting.

Consider this an invitation to a date tonight, when you will be able to open this envelope.

I love you for all the happy times;
I thank you for all the times of support;
I rejoice with you in the multiplicity of blessings that we have shared.

Hurry home.

To Go Before the Mast

It may come as a surprise; it may seem out of character. For many years I have had a love affair with historic tall ships; those that depend on the power of the wind to fill their expansive sails, those that were manned by accomplished sailors who navigated their courses by the nighttime skies. These ships, with their undisputed beauty, speak to me of adventure, of romance of times gone by, of courage, of stout-hearted men.

While certain that I am not hearty nor courageous enough to have sailed the seven seas in this manner, in my dreams I do long to take my spot next to the great captains which I read about in books. Indeed, I have already outed my obsession with Horatio Hornblower.

Last Tuesday, I had the unique opportunity to "go before the mast and on the deck of the world", to test out my sea legs and to feel the exhilaration of the wind in my sails. It fulfilled a lifelong dream, and despite the debilitating cold of our evening cruise, I will always treasure the experience.

We sailed out of the bay in Newport, Oregon, on the Lady Washington, an historically accurate wooden replica of the original Lady Washington, one of the first U.S.-flagged vessels to visit the west coast of North America. This beautiful movie-star ship has appeared in "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" and "Master and Commander:  The Far Side of the World."

I appreciate my family and their patience with me as I pursue the things I love.  They are very supportive and adventurous as well, and I love them.  Together, we could sail to the ends of the earth, or wherever we decide to go.

"I did not wish to take a cabin passage, but rather to go before the mast and on the deck of the world, for there I could best see the moonlight amid the mountains. I do not wish to go below now."

~Henry David Thoreau~

Give Me an Unlikely Hero Anyday

My husband and I have settled into a very comfortable routine.  Our children are all in college, hundreds of miles away; he is no longer working extra hours as a lay-clergyman.  It's just the two of us.  Did you hear my sigh?  It was a good sigh....

We are enjoying nightly home-cooked, healthy meals, a generous time given to reading the scriptures together, and then we settle into our pre-selected favorite spots.  He takes the chair with an ottoman for his feet.  We no longer have to elevate his legs due to blood clot swelling and pain (most of the time).  So that progress has been encouraging.  I am on the couch with two pillows and my favorite blanket.  If it is a particularly chilly evening I might grab the leopard snuggie that my son-in-law gave me.

We are quite the picture, I would guess. 

Then comes the fun part.  Each night we have a pre-selected show that we enjoy.  Sunday evening has been "Worst Cooks in America".  But we just watched the finale, so I guess Sundays are open again.

Monday night is a "Chuck" night, and we DVR "Hawaii Five-O" to be watched another time because I can't stay up that late. 

Tuesdays are nothing without some "White Collar".  Love that.  And then I try to sit through "NCIS", but often the blood and the gore drive me away to some other activity.

Wednesdays are "Top Chef" nights, with some "American Idol" thrown in when available.

Thursdays we watch more Idol.

But easily the highlight of the week is Friday's offering, the only show that I get so excited about when I settle in with my blanket on the couch:  "Merlin!"  I love it.  There is something about its combination of likeable and hateable characters, beautiful scenery, lovely music, and compelling storyline.  Having always been a fan of Arthurian Legend, this brings familiar names to life and invites cheering for the good guys and booing the bad ones.  Merlin is delightful as the gawky, awkward humble servant to Prince Arthur who, with an undeniable good heart, must always quietly save the day, never getting credit for his heroism.  And who doesn't swoon over the Arthur/Guinevere chemistry?  Ah! This is good television.

Merlin Photo Albums - Merlin TV Show

Saturdays are open.  That is the time we will often go out to a movie, or go to dinner with friends. 

I am thoroughly enjoying these quiet evenings with my husband.  I look forward every day to spending time with him. It may not sound like an exciting life to most of you, but how delightful it is to have a husband who works hard during the day so that we might have such a lovely peaceful home to relax in.  I have always had a thing for unlikely heroes.

And we are just waiting patiently to add "Psych" back into the line up.... ;-)

This is What True Love Is!

I have a fan.  This fan, even amidst his busy workday schedule, anxiously awaits the posting of a new blog.  He will even telephone to remind me that I haven't put up a new blog yet.

Now this certainly is true love.  A phone conversation ought to be enough for him to get his "fix" of me, but he values just as much the expression of my thoughts on my blog. He enjoys my written words because they add a different dimension to his understanding of me.  He claims that it is a great way for him to learn what I have been thinking about and he likes to figure out what prompts one particular subject or another.  He often recognizes extensions from conversations we have had, noting what I have continued to chew on, or think about, from ideas we have previously discussed.

This is the greatest form of flattery or compliment that a writer can receive.  My true fan recognizes that I reveal the real inner workings of my mind in my day-to-day blogging. And he values that.  Rarely does my blog apply directly to the mundane monotony of everyday life.  He already knows what I think about those things.  This affords new clues to solving the mystery of Ardith, something he has been working on for 28 years.

Love is Not Love Which Alters

Oh, I still remember the thrill of young love.  I remember the fluttering in my heart.  I remember the thrill of a phone call.  I remember the sweet anticipation of just seeing him.  Walt Whitman captures that feeling so well.

                                                                     Calamus No. 43

By Walt Whitman

O YOU whom I often and silently come where you

     are, that I may be with you,

As I walk by your side, or sit near, or remain in the

     same room with you,

Little you know the subtle electric fire that for your

     sake is playing within me.

But having been with my Valentine for 28 years, some of the newness has worn off just a little.  The fluttering is still there though, and the thrill, and the anticipation, and the electric fire.  But they now represent  the peace of knowing that he WILL call, and he WILL come home, and we WILL spend time together.  Lots of time.

What is missing is the anxiety.  And I certainly don't miss that!  The doubt is gone.  The insecurity is gone.  In its place is the certainty and reassurance of a long term commitment. 

My favorite love poem, then, is not about the thrills of new love.  It is about the serenity of knowing that love is here to stay.  Real love will weather the storms, to be found just as solid and lasting as ever.  It will turn a blind eye to faults, and the inevitable fading of youth. 

Sonnet No. 116

By William Shakespeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments.  Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

Oh, no!  It is an ever-fixed mark,

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love is not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Happy Valentine's Day to my eternal Valentine.  The one that is always there.  The one that overlooks the impediments.  We may not be the picture of young love; but we are definitely the picture of real love.

May I Quote You?

Have you ever been quoted?  Have you ever received validation by someone using your own words of wisdom?  

As our family gathered at Thanksgiving, one of our topics of conversation gravitated toward Bucket Lists.
We all divulged our personal desires and enjoyed learning more about each other.  When it came to Brian's turn, he surprised us all when he said  he would like to have something he said be considered worthy of hanging on someone's wall.

You know, why not?  Who decides which quotes end up on plaques and frames anyway? 

Imagine our surprise then, when two of our creative children took this idea and ran with it.  Robert and Josalyn decided to take Brian at his word and came up with a wildly unique, innovative Christmas gift for the whole family.

While Brian served as bishop, his ward clerk compiled a list of "Bishop Haws Quotes", quite a random collection of pithy, witty, often silly, and always uniquely wise things that Brian said during bishopric meetings.  Rob and Jos chose one of these quotes, enlisted an online designer to turn it into a cross-stitch pattern, then gave each of us the materials to create our own wall hanging; thus fulfilling an item from Brian's bucket list.

I think I am the first one done! 

It was a fun project.  As I reacquainted myself with cross-stitching, I thought about a lot of things.

  I thought about the value of thoughtful gifts, ones that needn't cost a lot of money but that tune into a unique interest of the recipient. 

I thought about a husband who quietly serves, strives to be a man of integrity, and who sets a great example for his family. 

I thought about a sister who could have done the designing for Robert if he would have known about her amazing skills. 

 I thought about what an honor it would be to be remembered for something profound we may have said. 

How competitive are you?

I have always considered myself as un-competitive.  I'm not sure that is very honest though.  Certainly I am un-competitive in anything that has to do with physical athleticism.  I won't even try in most cases because I know that I will surely come up lacking.  And that's fine.  No skin off my nose.  It has always frustrated Brian that I won't even try to wrestle him.  Yea, right.  Like I would have any chance?

But I don't think these are the only types of things that can bring out our competitive natures.  I think I am very competitive against myself.  I want to do better than I have done before.  I want to exceed my own standards; my own levels of performance.   And I think this is healthy.

Recently while my husband and I were on a trip to Utah and Idaho, in the middle of winter, I could not get my husband to put on the only light jacket he had brought along, at my insistence of course.  Granted he is a big guy that never seems to feel the cold.  But these were extreme temperatures we were experiencing; below zero kind of cold!

Finally I asked him why.  Certainly you are cold?  Certainly you must be feeling the effects of this awful place?

His response?  "I don't want to let the cold win."

My hyper-competitive husband is so stubborn he was challenging the cold to get to him, to break him somehow.  It was like some kind of triple-dog-dare against the elements.

You know what?  As crazy as I think that is, I also admire his spirit.  I think a person can go far in this life with a "Must Win" attitude.

So I ask you, and I ask myself:  What are we letting win?  Are our habits winning?  Our weaknesses?  Our addictions, perhaps?

Going into this new year, I plan to foster this competitive spirit.  I am determined to overcome things that may have whipped me in the past.  I am not going to "let the cold win"!

Recalculating Route

I have a Navigator on my phone.  I have a love/hate relationship with it.  It has gotten Brian and me out of many a pickle in our explorations.  I won't say it has "saved" our marriage, but it certainly eliminates a lot of stress and makes traveling in new territory much more relaxing and enjoyable.

Then why do I sometimes hate it?  Well, aside from the annoying voice, there are a couple of phrases that we have heard a few too many times:  "Make the next legal U-turn" and "Recalculating Route"!

I have thought about those directions and even though they are irritating to hear when navigating unfamiliar roads, what a blessing they really are!  Sometimes we do find ourselves going down the wrong path and need some course correction, and it is usually when we are too proud to admit it on our own. 

I believe we all have a "Navigator", giving us direction and guidance if we will attune ourselves to hear it.

Brian and I have received the not-so-subtle instruction to "Recalculate our Route".  And we are.  Good health has become more precious to us after having caught a glimpse of the dangers and limitations of poor health.  There are too many things we still want to do in our life together; too many places we want to see; too much service we want to be involved in.

Changing direction is difficult.  Finding a place to make a safe U-turn isn't always easy.  Yet we have; we have made a complete 180 degree course correction.  I pray that we will have the strength and the courage to continue down our newly chosen road.

And maybe I can get rid of my "fat" jeans....



Lost in the Shuffle

My husband loves to make us feel guilty.  "Oh don't bother about my birthday.  It's fine.  No big deal."

But would we dare to really do that?  No way!  He loves to feel like he has gotten the short end of the stick by having a Christmas Eve birthday.  But honestly, the family always gathers for his birthday.  There is always great food and goodies around for his birthday.  There is always a big party for his birthday.

So complain if you want.  But you know we always try very hard to make you feel special.  And this year will be no different.

Last year we even took you to Vero Beach, Florida for your birthday and then went to Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World.  With your birthday badge on, you were wished a Happy Birthday by every single employee of the Happiest Place on Earth.

Just sayin'.

My Own Fezziwig

The Dicken's Classic, A Christmas Carol, has become part of our lives.  Every year there seems to be a new addtion to the extensive catalog of Christmas Carol versions.  And what a wonderful reminder of the impact of internalizing the Spirit of Christmas, as Scrooge gives us examples of how to act, and how not to act.

Many characters from the story have been brought to life by memorable actors, and round out the story of Scrooge's exploratory journey.  A favorite of mine is Mr. Fezziwig.  As you'll recall, he is Ebenezer's kind and jolly former employer, who throws a big Christmas party for his employees.  He epitomizes the generous soul who knows how to treat those who work for him.

Every day of every year I have the opportunity to see a Fezziwig in action, and particularly enjoy observing from the sidelines during the Annual Summit Sportswear Christmas Potluck Luncheon, which just happened to be today.  This is the time that my husband hands out Christmas Bonuses to his 100+ employees and announces the winners of the door prizes. This is followed by an extensive potluck buffet, lavish with authentic dishes from the Russian, Asian, and Mexican people who work there.  Brian and I contribute hams and au gratin potatoes every year.  They seem very plain and "American" next to the exotic dishes that the others bring.

It is evident that Brian inspires loyalty and fosters good feelings in his factory.  These sweet, hardworking people love to show their appreciation to their kind boss by giving humble gifts.  And they often extend their kindness to me, "The Boss's Wife".  This year I came home with a bowl full of real handmade tamales, given to me by a sweet little lady.  From her limited English, I could tell she was offering something which made her very proud to give because she had heard that I love tamales.

I feel so blessed.  I have a husband that works hard to take care of not only our family, but he feels such a responsibility to help maintain these good workers and their families, by providing them with stable, secure jobs.  These people work so hard at really difficult jobs.  I have bent over a sewing machine for eight hours and know the aches and pains it causes.  And they do it every day for years and years.

Blessings come in unusual packages.  Sometimes they are savory bundles wrapped up in corn husks.  Sometimes they are in a compassionate hardworking husband. 

I came home today from the party with a Christmas bonus of my own.  After having shipped his order, Brian found himself with an extra top from a Nike Track program.  Hmmmmm, looks like my size.  Pretty cute, huh?

Thanks, Mr. Fezziwig.

What Can You Do With a Bishop

...when he stops being a bishop?  I took a little creative license and borrowed lyrics from a song.  Hopefully most of you caught the reference to the movie White Christmas with Bing Crosby.

Of course in the movie the dilemma actually dealt with a displaced General, but I think a bishop also fits.  As my husband was only just released from his calling, we haven't felt the real impact of the change yet.  But I anticipate that we will. 

Imagine having him home most evenings.  Imagine having him home most Sundays.  Imagine not getting phone calls round the clock from those needing help, counsel, or a ride to church. 

I'm trying to imagine such things.  I do know that it will be a welcome adjustment.  If anyone has a suggestion for new hobbies, I'm sure he would be open to hearing them.

Speaking of great old movies (and Miranda says Everything in life has a movie reference), not once in the entire 5 years that I was The Bishop's Wife did I receive a personal visit from Cary Grant.

Not really a Gum Chewer, But....

Finally, there is a temptation in the gum world that calls to me.  The flavor is, very convincingly, that of Key Lime Pie without the sugar nor the fat.  And in my world, there are few desserts that are more satisfying.

My husband and I have made it our mission to find the very best Key Lime pie, and we have taken our mission to some great destinations.

Easily the best we ever found was in, no surprise, the Florida Keys.  A few years back, Brian took me with him on a business trip to Miami.  The convention was a bit of a disappointment, so we found ourselves with an extra free day in Florida.  So what does one do?

We rented a convertible and took off down to the Keys.  Retrospectively, this may have been one of my best days.  It was beautiful.  We didn't have time to go all the way to Key West, but we found Key Largo to be as charming and delightful as anything we could have imagined.

Imagine all of these wonderful memories called to mind because of a new pack of gum.  Powerful gum....

Working on my Bucket List

There is a lot of talk these days about bucket lists, mainly due to a popular movie with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson.  Great movie; I enjoyed it.  A few years back I bought a book called "1000 Places to See Before You Die."  It contains a huge selection of the most valued experiences a person can have, according to someone's opinion anyway.  And then awhile ago I bought another book called "500 Things to Eat Before It's Too Late."  Are you seeing a trend?  I have been buying into this idea that we should all be living life to its fullest because eventually we are all going to kick the "bucket" and don't want to have any regrets.

Even with all this outward stimuli, I never really sat down and wrote a bucket list, though I certainly was adequately armed with all those "don't miss" suggestions.  But I have always dreamed of places I wanted to see and adventures I was certain would give more meaning to my life.

Then it happened.  I was given a dose of reality.  I was forced to look straight in the face of my husband's mortality, and consequently, that of my own mortality.  And I was startled to see how much they go hand-in-hand.  Our lives are so intertwined that as I saw the threat to his life, I felt it as a threat to my own; certainly to my life as I know it, that of being with a companion that offers love and livelihood and laughter.

So I decided to think a little more about a bucket list, a list of all the things I want to experience and accomplish before I kick that darn, rusty bucket.  As I did so, armed with paper and pen, an interesting thing happened.  I thought I would write fast and furiously, anxious to get on the paper all the amazing destinations I have yet to see.

Didn't happen.  Instead, my mind turned to an interesting process of prioritizing.  Suddenly the most important things became time with family; and trips to meaningful places.  There are a few personal accomplishments that I would still like to see happen, but realistically, I feel satisfied with most of the things I have filled my years with.  I have educated myself, in lieu of a formal college degree.  I have studied the scriptures and taught many lessons from what I have learned.  I have explored my creative side, using a variety of mediums to beautify and chronicle my life.  Most importantly, I have nurtured four amazing children into adulthood, and fostered significant relationships with a wonderful group of family and friends.

Here is my bucket list, so far.  It isn't long.  It is filled with my lifelong dreams of exploring the homelands of beloved book characters and authors.  Some are just traveling to places that have intrigued me for one reason or another.  Nothing is frivolous.  Everything is reasonable, I think. 

1. Write a book, and get it published (This one is close!)
2. Tour Great Britain by car
3. Serve at least one mission with my husband
4. Visit Hilton-Head Island, South Carolina
5. Visit New Orleans, Louisiana
6. Visit Chicago, Illinois
7. Take a thorough Church History Tour
8. Nurture a personal relationship with each grandchild
9. Revisit painting--take a class again
10. Learn to use Photoshop
11. Take a train trip to Vancouver, British Columbia, in a sleeper car
12. Visit Paris, France
13. Cross the English Channel at Dover
14. Explore Plymouth Harbor; sail in a tall ship
15. Take a riverboat cruise down the Mississippi River
16. Take a New England Fall Color Tour
17. Go back to Wichita, Kansas someday
18. Have a family reunion in Hawaii
19. Explore the Alps of Switzerland
20. Visit the Holy Land
21. Sure, we better throw in there Mt. Rushmore...

How does your list compare?

Unspoken Words

Do you ever find that there are some words we choose to leave unspoken?  That even though they weigh heavily upon our minds, it is easier to just ignore their reality?  We look at the bright side, and quietly push away the "what might have been".

We have had one of the longest weeks of our lives, and it hasn't even been a whole week yet.  We have experienced concern, worry, relief, more concern, curiosity, wonder, gratitude, more concern.  Yet through it all we try to keep in the background the fact that our lives, though disrupted, have not been changed in the biggest way imaginable.  I know we have each thought about it individually.  I know that we have said many silent prayers of relief that the inevitable has been avoided for now. We have communicated this relief with our eyes, and with meaningful embraces, choosing not to actually say out loud what we have all been thinking.

We talk about new perspective.  We talk about a new lease on life.  We step out on our new path, determined to appreciate everything on a new level.

And yet we never say the words.

Power of Positive Expectation

Early in our marriage, Brian and I established a precedent.  We realized the power that lies in the simple concept of Postive Expectation.  As a result, we have tried to always have something fun to look forward to.  It needn't be extravagant, expensive, or over the top.  It simply needs to be out of the ordinary; something that can fill our minds with hope, that the mundane and everyday stuff will eventually be broken up with a diversion.

Last month on my birthday, knowing that I was right in the middle of the wedding hullabaloo, Brian had the wisdom to look down the road a little bit.  He knew that eventually life would return to normal, our pace would slow down, and we might need a little something to jumpstart things.  So he gave me the best possible gift:  tickets to a concert deep in the month of September.

At the time, how could he possibly have known that I would be teaching Seminary again?  That more than ever, I would need a bright spot at the end of my day?  Well, he must be even more wise than I have given him credit for.  Thank you, my dear, for the diversion.  I am needing it desperately.

And I love that the tickets were accompanied by a handwritten note from Harry.... Not sure how you managed that....;-)