A Hole in One's Heart

Everyone has one.  Everyone has a spot that seems empty, that previously was filled with something or someone special.

I have been overwhelmed lately with the volume of sad news in my own circle of friends.  So many illnesses, and deaths, and closing of chapters in loved ones' lives.  In my own home there are "closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters", to quote my friend Paulo Coelho.

I believe one of life's challenges is to find ways to help fill those holes; to help heal them in our own hearts and in the hearts of others.  We must look outward for new opportunities and new relationships.

The new year sounds like a good time for healing. 

Coming Clean

The guilt is too much.  I must confess. So why not to the entire blogosphere?

This morning I was at the grocery store and had taken a detour to somewhere I did not belong.  I recognized the undeniable guilt I was feeling by what was running through my head.   I kept thinking:  'Oh, I hope no one sees me!  Please don't let anyone I know see me'

I wasn't perusing the wine aisle;  I wasn't buying beer.

Where are the One-Year-Olds?

"It's too quiet..... Where are the One-year-olds?"  Robert's mother-in-law asked in the aftermath of a huge family Christmas.  Our granddaughter Evelyn is blessed to have two cousins her same age, all born within just a few weeks of each other.  When they get together they have all kinds of fun. 

That wise grandmother knew that quiet can be dangerous and sent one to investigate. This is what Uncle Brad found:  Evelyn and her cousins were in an upstairs bathroom, gathered around the toilet.  They had filled it with toilet paper and toys, were playing with the plunger, soaked from head to toe with toilet water, and were eating the wet toilet paper.

Their only comments, from their limited vocabulary?  "Uh oh!"

I can only imagine, as they continue to grow up together, all the adventures these three will have. 

A Time for Gifts

Certainly this would be a good forum to share all the wonderful gifts that were given and received this holiday season.  But that isn't what is on my mind today.  I feel like I have been given a most unusual gift recently.  And I believe the Giver of the gift knew exactly what I was needing, and felt I was ready to receive this extraordinary experience.

I believe I was given a chance to step outside myself for a few moments and look at my life from a different perspective.  I was able to see and analyze where I am and the direction my life is heading.  Very humbling in so many ways.  No, I haven't had an "out-of-body" experience, though in some ways it feels like I have.  For the first time in a long time I have looked objectively at the things I do, the things I am preoccupied with, the things I think about, the "place" I am at, and most importantly, its relationship to where I want to be.

Is there a better time of year to receive this poignant reminder?  As I approach the new year, I am determined to pursue the changes I would like to see, so if (and when) I get another honest, objective glimpse of myself, perhaps I will be more comfortable with what I see.

Lost in the Shuffle

My husband loves to make us feel guilty.  "Oh don't bother about my birthday.  It's fine.  No big deal."

But would we dare to really do that?  No way!  He loves to feel like he has gotten the short end of the stick by having a Christmas Eve birthday.  But honestly, the family always gathers for his birthday.  There is always great food and goodies around for his birthday.  There is always a big party for his birthday.

So complain if you want.  But you know we always try very hard to make you feel special.  And this year will be no different.

Last year we even took you to Vero Beach, Florida for your birthday and then went to Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World.  With your birthday badge on, you were wished a Happy Birthday by every single employee of the Happiest Place on Earth.

Just sayin'.

The Stockings are Hung

What was I thinking?!  Last year, I decided we needed new Christmas Stockings.  We have had some new additions to our family and I wanted everyone to match. 

I found some great double-sided fabric.  Beautiful.  I decided I could make my own pattern.  I had access to a sewing factory, complete with a professional embroidery machine.  These were going to be awesome.

The results?  Quite comical-looking, really LONG stockings.

Aside from their ridiculous proportions, they take  A LOT of stuff to fill them!  Poor Santa....

Here is another picture.  See?  they are bigger than my grandbaby!

Missing the Magic

For me, part of the magic of Christmas has always been having snow.  And for the past 25 years of living in Oregon, the White Christmases have been RARE.   As much as I love living in this beautiful part of the world, when Christmastime rolls arounds, part of my heart pines for nonexistent snow.

This year in particular, I seem to be thinking more of Christmases Past, when the magic was turned on by a dusting from heaven.  It seems more difficult to recapture the magic of the season somehow.

I spent my childhood in Utah and Kansas and Wyoming and Idaho.  I grew up knowing firsthand the charms of the snow.  I know it comes with headaches, too.  But that doesn't prevent me from dreamin' of , well, you know....