"I Wanna Know Stuff"

Last Friday was a great day.  It was a great day for many reasons.  It began well.  It ended well.

I spent most of the day finalizing my manuscript, focussing on the reference list, dotting my i's and crossing my t's. Then I took the trip to the post office, one of the longest roads of my life.

Later, my husband and I headed up to Portland to cash in my Birthday present to him.  I had given tickets to see the comedian Brian Regan at the Schnitzer Auditorium. 

While in the car my husband asked me what I was going to do now that my manuscript was on its way.


Without too much hesitation I responded with "I am going to learn things".  I had already decided that my quest for knowledge would continue in the unconventional way it has up to now.

Imagine my surprise when a couple hours later nearly the same words came out of the mouth of the comedian.  Brian Regan plays upon his ability to come across rather buffoonish, and makes it very easy to laugh at his silliness. Frequently during his performance, in a very endearing way, he comments that he really wants to know stuff.

I'm glad.  I think we should all have the desire to learn more.  Most of us have adequate knowledge to get us through our every day, but imagine how great it would be to know more.  The only thing often holding us back is ourselves; well, ourselves and our laziness.

So won't you join me and my new friend, Brian Regan, as we set off to "know stuff"?  Sounds fun to me.

The Second Part of the Journey

I have been on an incredible journey.  It began last year as I acted upon an itch to write a book. I received positive feedback from my blog readers and decided to pursue what had been a lifelong dream. After months of research and writing, I came up with a final draft and prepared it for submission to a publisher.

Yesterday was the day.  With butterflies in my stomach, and admittedly a few tears of relief in my eyes, I drove to the post office with my baby bundled in a brown envelope.

Thus begins the second part of my journey:  the road to publication.  I felt a need to give the "big boys" the first chance.  But I am encouraged that if they send it back I still have a few other options.  One way or another, this book will be published.  I feel strongly that it belongs in the hands of my posterity as something physical and tangible, something from Grandma Haws.

A long road lies ahead of me, one that will certainly be paved with doubt and frustration.  It would be easier to keep this process to myself, to hide the likely rejections, and discouragement.  But I do better when I find ways to be held accountable.  So don't be afraid to ask how this journey is going.  I am determined to see it through to the end. 

Life is too short for indecisiveness.  Life is too short to fail on follow-through.  So, here's to the next challenge.  Here's to the second part of the journey!

I Nearly Missed a Rainbow

Years and years ago, I had a record album that I played on the portable record player in my bedroom.  It was a collection of music from Sesame Street.  Of course, "Rubber Ducky" was there, "Who are the People in Your Neighborhood" was there, and naturally, "It's Not Easy Being Green" was there.

But there was another song included that I don't think I ever heard sung on the television show, but it soon became one of my favorites.  I think the original Susan sang it; it was melodic, it was beautiful, it was meaningful to me. The song was called "Nearly Missed" and its message reminds us of the beautiful things we might miss if we fail to look up, to look around once in awhile.

During a recent trip to the coast, while enjoying a walk along the beach, I noticed a bunch of people with their backs to the ocean, all bent over and all intently studying the sand.  I can only make some broad assumptions that they were probably looking for something that would bring monetary rewards of some kind and they were indeed working hard.

My thoughts as I watched them turned to this song of my youth. Clearly they were so focussed on diligently making a living, on working hard, on being productive, that they were failing to notice the beauty of where they were.

Perhaps the real foolish one here was me.  What were they finding that had so much value, and why wasn't I with them seeking to cash in on the great find?

No.  I don't think so.  I had found the treasure I was looking for.  The coast is therapeutic to me.  Its raw beauty keeps me coming back for more.  The rhythm of the waves is hypnotic and the slower pace reminds me of the way I think God intended for us to live; to slow our heartrate down to meet His tempo; to find the inner peace that often gets pushed to the side, misplaced and forgotten in our rush, rush, rush everyday lives.

A trip to the coast isn't the only time to stop and look up occasionally.  I know in our own little corners of the world there is beauty to be had every day.  Sometimes just the contrast of a striking blue sky against the rooftops and the trees can be breathtaking. 

Work is important.  We should not be idle and expect others to attend to our needs.  But we can lift our noses from the grindstone occasionally.  I don't want you to miss the rainbows either.

While studying a brand new hole in my sneaker,

And finding a quarter and an old bus token,

I nearly missed a rainbow, I nearly missed a sunset,
 I nearly missed a shooting star going by....

As an aside, I looked this song up on Youtube (which always has everything, doesn't it?). Apparently in 1998 the song was dug up from the Sesame Street archives and redone as a hip-hop version with Rosie O'Donnell and Elmo. NOT the Same!! What a disappointment....

Validation By Followers

Have you noticed that in the world of blogging there is a huge emphasis put on "followers"?

'Ooh, look how many followers she has!'

For some reason success or failure, happiness or discouragement, 'life or death' seems contingent on how many followers a blog has.

There are countless pleas out there on blog discussion groups:  "If you will follow me then I will follow you".  In other words, the numbers are stacked frequently by collusion and not necesssarily by sincere expression of approval or interest.  Mining for followers seems to be as much apart of blogging as actually coming up with ideas to write about.

I, myself, have stooped to the gathering process.  I have sent out invitations to unsuspecting friends, hoping that they will care enough to "follow" me.  I hope they realize that by following me, they are under absolutely no obligation to even check in on Ardith's Quest (though of course I hope they will).

So why do bloggers even care about their numbers?  Well, of course we all respond to curiosity and to persuasion.

 'Wow, this must be a good blog!  Look how many followers it has'

or 'I sure want to be in the popular crowd; it seems to be congregating here!'

Certainly if any money is to be made in the blogging world, the number of followers begins to hold more importance.  Large numbers naturally translate into clout, and clout leads to opportunity and reputability.

So every blogger must eventually ask themself:  Am I going to live or die by my numbers?

My answer (after much thought)?  No.  I am so flattered when someone shows a vote of support for me.  I love the validation I feel.  I recognize most of my followers probably felt backed into a corner to become my follower.  I'm sorry about that.  I hope they will continue to be interested. 

So if my humble numbers continue to climb a little?  Awesome!  Especially if they are harvested from genuine admirers; those are the best!

Three Kinds of People

There seem to be three classifications of people in the world right now:  those that have no interest in joining the unique, albeit consuming world of facebook; those that were curious enough to see what it was all about, have signed up with a facebook account, but are hesitant to participate for one reason or another; and then there are those that have discovered the marvel of it all.

I fall into the last category.  I will admit to being apprehensive at first.  From what I had read, it was a college student craze but I was drawn to the relative protected nature of it.  Only those that I allowed would be able to see what I was up to.

After getting my feet wet, I have been drawn into this world of friends, particularly friends from long ago that seem not to have aged.  It becomes so easy to pick up in conversation as easily as if there weren't thousands of miles that separate us, nor decades that have passed since the last time we spoke.

Initially I joined facebook to stay in touch with my children; to see what they were up to while living away from home.  I also love to see fresh pictures of my granddaughter from time to time, as I don't get enough "face time" with her. 

But facebook fills a need for me.  It validates myself as "Ardith Wakeman Haws".  I am no longer just Jackie's mom, or Elder Haws' mother, or Bishop Haws' wife.  For the first time in years I have my own circle of friends, especially those that knew me as the shy, brown-eyed girl who moved around a lot.

I love sharing the day to day lives of my facebook friends.  I love sharing the happy times and the sad times, the silly times and the touching times.  How fun to cheer on the triumphant and how poignant to pray with those in need.  I love a forum that accepts my idiosyncrasies.  Perhaps my voice may not be heard by multitudes, but it is heard by my little circle of facebook friends.  And that is enough.

Those that may hesitate to jump into the conversation, what have you got to lose?  I promise you will gain more than you ever would have imagined.  You will regain a part of your youth.

May I Quote You?

Have you ever been quoted?  Have you ever received validation by someone using your own words of wisdom?  

As our family gathered at Thanksgiving, one of our topics of conversation gravitated toward Bucket Lists.
We all divulged our personal desires and enjoyed learning more about each other.  When it came to Brian's turn, he surprised us all when he said  he would like to have something he said be considered worthy of hanging on someone's wall.

You know, why not?  Who decides which quotes end up on plaques and frames anyway? 

Imagine our surprise then, when two of our creative children took this idea and ran with it.  Robert and Josalyn decided to take Brian at his word and came up with a wildly unique, innovative Christmas gift for the whole family.

While Brian served as bishop, his ward clerk compiled a list of "Bishop Haws Quotes", quite a random collection of pithy, witty, often silly, and always uniquely wise things that Brian said during bishopric meetings.  Rob and Jos chose one of these quotes, enlisted an online designer to turn it into a cross-stitch pattern, then gave each of us the materials to create our own wall hanging; thus fulfilling an item from Brian's bucket list.

I think I am the first one done! 

It was a fun project.  As I reacquainted myself with cross-stitching, I thought about a lot of things.

  I thought about the value of thoughtful gifts, ones that needn't cost a lot of money but that tune into a unique interest of the recipient. 

I thought about a husband who quietly serves, strives to be a man of integrity, and who sets a great example for his family. 

I thought about a sister who could have done the designing for Robert if he would have known about her amazing skills. 

 I thought about what an honor it would be to be remembered for something profound we may have said. 

What's Stopping You?

Have you ever lived with regret?  Have you ever let an opportunity pass you by because you were simply too afraid to act upon it?  Sadly I have, certainly more than once, but perhaps none quite as memorable as a snorkeling trip in the Caribbean.

When my children were young, we planned and took "The Trip of a Lifetime".  We actually called it that because we never anticipated being able to do it again.  In preparation for this trip, which would include a snorkeling opportunity, I bought my kids snorkeling gear and took them to a local pool to practice.  I wanted them to get the most from their adventure in the ocean, without being hampered by not being familiar with the equipment.  They practiced going along the surface; they practiced diving down and following it with a mighty burst of air to clear the water from their snorkel tube.  They were ready.  What followed was one of the most humbling experiences of my life.

It was a beautiful day on Castaway Cay.  There was sun; there was sand.  I think Brian and Miranda were staying near the shore while Jackie, Robert, Erica and I set out like the adventurors we were to snorkel in the bay.  Feeling reasonably confident with their snorkeling skills, each took off in their own direction to explore the recesses of this normally out-of-bounds world.

Drifting along casually, enjoying the sun on my back, I was startled by something sparkling in the sun.  Wait a minute.  What IS that?  Hovering at the surface of the water, I eventually determined that a golden ripple in the sea grass was indeed REAL gold.  I was able to make out a claw hook and realized it was a gold necklace, left behind some other day by some other snorkeler. 

Now is the time to use that practiced skill of diving to the bottom and claiming my treasure.  And yet?  I WAS PARALYZED WITH FEAR.  I couldn't bear the thought of filling that tube with sea water.  I couldn't bear the thought of sucking in a mouthful of salt.  In hindsight, apparently my brain was paralyzed too.  It never occurred to me to rip the snorkel out of my mouth and just hold my breath.

 

Did I claim the prize and come home the snorkeling champion?  No.  After looking for any kind of landmarks, of which there were none, I surfaced to look for one of my expert children to dive for me.  In doing so, and treading water with my fins, I churned up all kinds of sand and sea grass and was never able to find the necklace again.

Life brings all kinds of lessons, doesn't it?  This painful one has always remained in the back of my mind, never to be forgotten.  I think of it whenever an opportunity comes along that, for one reason or another, fills me with fear.  I think of it whenever I read scriptures that speak of fear like: "but you feared and the time is past"(D&C 9:11), or "there were fears in your heart, and verily this is the reason that ye did not receive" (D&C 67:3), or "But with some I am not well pleased, for they will not open their mouths, but they hide the talent which I have given unto them, because of the fear of man" (D&C 60:2).

I hope you are not living with regrets due to fear.  They may be the most painful kind.