Life is not meant to be static, nor stagnant. And yet, once again, I often find myself wearing footpaths into the soft and impressible earth that used to seem fresh and new. Some daily habits are good; many are tired and exhausting and worn out, and their repetition puts us on a treadmill that goes nowhere.
"I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there."
I return to Thoreau. I find refuge in Thoreau's thinking outside the box. I identify with his impatience with the status quo and his desire for freshness and new challenges.
"Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one."
"...how deep the ruts of tradition and conformity."
"...if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpect in common hours."
The common hours. The expected. The ordinary; the run of the mill; the unremarkable. THAT is not good enough. I want more. I believe the seed was planted in me to expect more. And hopefully to achieve more.
"He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary."
What am I ready to leave behind? What lies beyond that self-imposed invisible boundary? What is preventing me from expanding my capacities?
"He will live with the license of a higher order...."
I think I am ready to move out of the "little shack in the woods". It has been an important place. I have learned much and reconnected with my past. I have felt validated and cared about. But it has become stifling and monotonous. It threatens to be consuming and common and commercial. I cannot spare any more time for that.
I am reclaiming my time and my dream.
3 comments:
Great post!
Earlier this year I set a goal to go back to school. For a long time now I haven't been happy with my associate's degree - I wanted more. But I was just floating through life and not doing anything about it. So I've made goal to go back. (In fact it's to start back in January)
But then I started to feel self-concious because I'll be an older student among those a few years out of high school. (I know it was Satan working on me, trying to discourage me.)
BUT when I was in Mexico I had the opportunity to hand out school certificates at the Vincent Guerro Community Center. These are adults (a few around my age and many older) receiving their elementary and middle school certificates. As I congratulated them and happily handed them their certificate I realized you're never too old to go back to school. I'm not too old to go back to school. So January, here I come! :-)
Have I ever told you that I love your posts? Sorry for the long comment! :-)
Stephanie! I am so glad that someone understood what I was trying to express. I was afraid I was being a little too subtle, yet at the same time knew that if I was the only one that got my message, THAT WAS ENOUGH. Thank you so much for being my friend and for understanding me.
This was a powerful post and I will ponder on the thoughts. I know I need to reclaim my time. We rush around and don't stop to see the sweet moments that surround us.
Blessings to you today for a thoughtful and heartfelt post.
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