I'm such a chicken...

Have you ever stumbled upon someone else's Facebook friend, suspect that you know that person, but are too afraid to send a friend request?  That happened to me this morning.  I am so afraid that this person wouldn't remember who I am.

I lived in several places growing up, attending most of my elementary school years in Cedar City, Utah; going to junior high in Wichita, Kansas; and attending high school in Grace, Idaho.  Because of this, I know people from all over.  But because I haven't been back to those places, I fear that no one even remembers who I am.  I have been able to connect with a few key friends from those places, thankful that someone remembers me, but I know that most people wouldn't remember the shy, brown-eyed girl that was usually too timid to exert herself, and then moved away.  I don't even have yearbooks from the past because they were in a box in our garage when a pipe froze and then burst, flooding everything. 

Sometimes I look back upon my childhood and wonder if those memories I seem to have even happened at all.  I think my hazy past has something to do with my obsession now with scrapbooking, my desire to document our lives, to make a record of my children's activities.  I'm so thankful for the invention of the digital camera which completely erases any hesitancy to snap away as many pictures as I want.

I treasure the few pictures I have of my childhood.  A few years back I encouraged my dad to scan and digitize some of the slides they had accumulated over the years.  I know it was a labor of love, very time consuming.  It has been like getting back a portion of my youth, validating for me that those memories were real.  Thank you, Dad.  It means a lot to me.

Busting out of Ruts!

That has been our theme during the past year, and we have invited a few of our friends along to join us on the adventure.  So many things in life are out of our control, and the ruts simply grow deeper and deeper as we press onward doing the same things that need to be repeated over and over and over... (How can one really change up laundry?  If anyone finds a way, let me know)

But that doesn't mean that everything in our lives must always be the same.  There are plenty of variables out there to make life interesting if we only make a little extra effort.  One area is our social lives.  It is usually the first to be sacrificed because of our busy schedules, and that is fine because our families and work and church should be our priorities. I don't believe that our friendships don't merit some priority as well. We, however, had fallen into a very deep rut.  If we did find ourselves with a free weekend evening, we might try to call someone last minute to go out to dinner.  Usually without any planning ahead, though, we were rarely successful. 

This had to change.  So we took it upon ourselves to make the change.  We instigated what we affectionately call, The Rut-Busters Club.  It consists of a pretty good group of friends who have known each other for years, are comfortable together, and who otherwise we rarely see anymore because our kids are so busy.

The challenge is to take turns hosting a party.  Not just any party.  We have tried to use a little creativity to come up with ideas that get us up and doing things we haven't done before.  Cooperative spirit and good humor are usually called for too.

Here is a sampling of some of our adventures together.  Our original plan of monthly get-togethers has had to slide a little.  We really are a very busy group of people and sometimes the ruts are difficult to buck, but we are trying.

This last group of pictures was taken at our party last Saturday night.  We had our own "Project Runway", divided up into teams, and cut and sewed until we came up with stunning ensembles for our very own runway show.  No pictures are included of that to protect the "innocent".

LDS.org - New Era Article - In Search of the Tree of Life

LDS.org - New Era Article - In Search of the Tree of Life

Here is my blogpost today. Enjoy!

What do you want your label to be?

I have been fascinated by the new season of Survivor, particularly in watching what happens to people when they have a label attached to them:  Heroes or Villains.  In some ways, the positives and the negatives one would expect are coming to be.  Just watching the establishment of the opposing camps has been a confirmation that we rise, or sink, to what is expected of us.  The heroes have worked together, been willing to work hard, and have shown respect to their team members. Each seems to want to live accordingly to the almost visible haloes that exist over them all.  The music chosen to accompany their work and their walks through the jungle is uplifting and inspiring.

The villains have been content to wallow in the destitution of their situation.  No one is willing to stand forth as a leader; who cares if our shelter is lousy?  who cares if we don't have fire?  Except one.  And this is difficult for me to admit.  I watched Survivor several years ago when we first met "Boston Rob".  I found him arrogant, boorish, and outlandish in his villainry; truly someone that I loved to hate.  Since his first experience on Survivor, Boston Rob has become a husband and a father and has learned a few more life skills, particularly that of serving and supporting his family.  This instinct is coming out, as much as he is trying to squelch it.  He has tried to fight his frustration at the slothfulness and apathy of his team members.  He has tried to fight his natural inclination to step forward as a leader and a "hero".  And it has taken its toll.  Boston Rob found himself waking after a collapse in the jungle surrounded by a team of medical personnel.

Was there anything more touching than his words to Host Jeff Probst while coming out of unconsciousness? "Sorry.  It's just I feel like it's getting the best of me...and I love and respect it too much to not play."

Well, the thing I like about Survivor is discovering those with integrity and moral fiber.  I'm not saying that Boston Rob is a glowing example of that, but I was able to catch a glimpse of Rob that I hadn't seen before.  He may not be labeled a hero by the producers.  Today, he is a hero in my book.  I'm sure he would not want to hear that though.  Later, when his fluids had been restored and he was back "on his guard", he declared that he must "stop trying to be the good guy".  It is time to "be a villain!"

And what about those other "heroes"?  Well, there is a lot of pressure in being labeled a hero, and sadly, Colby, Tom, James, and the rest fell seriously short.  They are trying to walk the tightrope of acting heroically while at the same time not daring to step forth as a leader, because we all know in the game of Survivor, leaders have a huge target on their backs.

Compelling television.  I encourage you to join me and the rest of America as we watch a fascinating microcosm of our society.  The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Always the same. Never the same.

I suppose you could say that about a lot of things.  I have been thinking about it in relation to the ocean, as I have been watching it for the past few days.  There is something very comforting in its sameness.  I love when we arrive in Lincoln City, and it becomes a contest to see who can catch a glimpse of the ocean first.  Why is it such a thrill?  Do we suspect that it has changed, or departed?  Of course not.  Just the reassurance of its reliability is gratifying in some way.  And it is the star attraction when we come to the coast.  It isn't the saltwater taffy, or the seafood at Mo's, or the sun, or the sand, or the seagulls. The ocean is like a huge magnet that draws everyone to it.  It is hypnotic.  It is soothing.  It is mesmerizing.

While it can be counted on for its permanence, the fascination also lies in its ever-changing nature.  Every cresting wave is unique.  The colors vary.  The wave patterns change. The wealth it deposits at high tide is its own surprise.  What it reveals during low-tide is a similar treasure hunt.  The varying light of the morning, noon, and evening creates a stunning, continuous picture show.

I often wonder what lies beneath the beauty of the waves.  What parallel universe exists hidden by the depths?  We may occasionally enter this mysterious world by means of s.c.u.b.a. or snorkel, but all it really does is pique my curiosity about the components I don't see.  We can survey with binoculars or telescopes, thrilling as we catch sight of sea lions and whales.  But that really only reminds us of all we cannot see.

I'm thankful for my friend, the ocean.  I respect its power.  I respect its majesty. It lulls me to sleep at night.  It wakens me with the rhythm of its unique music, beckoning me to get out of bed and start my day, once again gazing into its mystery.

An Early-Morning Walk

“An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” These words of wisdom have been attributed to Henry David Thoreau. I tend to side with Henry on this one. I just returned from a beautiful walk down the beach. I was completely alone. But that really isn’t much of a surprise on a Wednesday morning in February. The sun was coming up, and it wasn’t as cold as I had expected. My sweatshirt met the need for warmth. It was low-tide so the broad expanse of wet firm sand made the walking easy. I brought my camera along.

You know, I was a little frustrated when my natural alarm clock woke me up at 6:15am.  I was hoping to sleep in, waking up to the sun streaming in my windows.  Old habits die hard.  But I don't regret for a minute the delightful morning I would have missed if I had slept through the sunrise.

Having fun! Eating Healthy?

"Have fun! Eat healthy!" I received this cheerful suggestion from a newly acquired friend. It kind of startled me because I realized that I don't usually associate those two things as being related. Aren't the two a blatant contradiction in terms? Is it possible to have fun and still eat healthy, or eat healthy and still have fun? I don't know. The jury is still out on this one. I honestly don't mind trying to improve my daily eating for good health. I have pretty good habits for the most part. When do I let my guard down? WHEN I want to "Have fun".

So when do I allow that? How often do I deem it more important to have fun than to make wise food choices? Well, let's see, the weekend is always a good excuse. When I am on a trip always qualifies. If I am feeling sorry for myself and need some "comfort", I will self- medicate with something yummy. Social situations always call for "fun" eating. See my problem?

Perhaps I need a little paradigm shift here. Out with the old frame of mind, and in with a new perspective, one that doesn't connect a fun time with fat and sugar. I know that simple willpower is not enough. Life is not about living in a state of denial. It is about valuing the promise of something different enough to make the necessary changes. For most of us, we enjoyed health and fitness while we were too young to realize just how good we had it. We were able to eat whatever fun food we wanted with hardly any repercussions at all. I don't expect to return to my college days, neither to my figure, my poverty, nor to my homework load. I am happy that some things have improved with the passage of time. But that is not to say that we cannot go back to a healthier weight. I'm not ready to go down without a fight, but am I willing to change my definition of fun?

I have been around the block enough times to know that sometimes we simply cannot deal with the challenges on our own. We may think we are strong, but sometimes our strength is really just a disguise for our stubbornness. We are simply unwilling to sacrifice our will. If I want that doughnut, I'm going to have that doughnut, or that Oreo cookie, or whatever, and no one is going to stop me. Yikes. That hit a little too close.

I don't have the answers, my friend. But I do recognize a wake-up call when I hear it. For me the challenge will lie in finding ways to have fun and eat healthy at the same time; to convince myself that the two can actually coexist. That doesn't mean that I will be perfect in following healthy guidelines, but I can make improvements. I can be more consistent without falling off the wagon as often, all in the name of having a good time. Food can be just as addictive as any substance that promises to make us "feel good". Controlling our intake is trickier though because we can't simply quit cold turkey. We actually need food every day. Controlling our bodily appetites is one of the main tests presented to us while on this earthly sojourn. Are we passing, or are we failing?

Life isn't meant to be easy. I often choose the easiest possible solution. What does that say about my strength of character? If I make my quest for health an issue of character then perhaps I will be willing to take that high road. I hope it is a road we can take together. I'll see you there!